Ups and Downs Family Love is All Around

Just 2 Backpacks For a 1 Week Trip

It's not every year that your family comes together. I'm not just talking about Thanksgiving, Christmas or Easter. I'm talking about the entire family - the aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents and the obscure ones you didn't even know existed. This year, my grandpa 'Papa' celebrated his 84th birthday. To commemorate this momentous occasion, relatives all over the world - mainly the US and the Philippines - came together in Iloilo, Philippines during the second week of November. Dave and I pleaded our bosses to give us time off despite being in the dreaded 3 month probation period. We were scheduled to leave on Saturday the 13th, but of course last minute shenanigans happened eg. change of the party to the evening of the 13th and PAL rerouting our direct flight from Sydney to Manila through Melbourne. Luckily, I was able to exchange our tickets for a day ahead and so we left on Friday the 12th. I've never been so spazzed out about catching a connecting flight until now. In Manila, I had to go from one terminal to another. You'd expect to jump onto some airport monorail or bus, but this wasn't the case. We had to go across a very busy part of town to the domestic terminal of the same airport bypassing the completely separate domestic airport on the way. We jumped into an empty airport shuttle and begged him to go. We arrived with enough time to check-in and get to security. At security, we had to turn right back around because our duty-free bought Bundaberg rum from Sydney Airport wasn't allowed as a carry-on. By 7pm, we had been traveling for 11 hours and had only enough energy to sigh a breath of relief once we sat down for an hour long trip to Iloilo. Once there, there would be no more planning, just us going with the flow of my parents' plans.

We arrived 5 minutes early and found no one waiting for us. We strolled up and down the arrivals gate weaving through dozens of cabbies asking us if we needed a ride. We approached a young boy cleaning a cafe to use his cellphone. The poor boy didn't have enough credit to make a call. (The Philippines is known as the texting capital of the world since a single SMS is approx. a peso!) No return text. We stayed till the airport shut all its lights and only one taxi was left. We took it to the only part of town I knew - SM City Mall in the heart of Iloilo. Dave and I are pretty seasoned travellers. Despite this irritating circumstance, we had a plan B, enough money and most importantly a positive attitude. We checked into the nicest hotel in the clubbing district and ordered a pricey, yet totally satisfying Filipino meal on a veranda overlooking the clubbing district. Phoneless and disheartened, we ate and watched the club-goers hoping to see my cousins letting loose escaping the clutches of their parents. That Friday, all known parties had driven, flown and boated over to Iloilo because my Papa’s birthday party would be the next night. Our meal was bittersweet. We had finally taken our first vacation since moving to Australia, but were unsure if we were going to find my family when we foreigners could hardly distinguish one Filipino from the next. At this point, I have never seen my step dad’s side of the family.

The next morning, found emails from my family on the lobby Internet. By noon, my mom had found us. When we saw her, she gave me the biggest hug and started to cry. I had never seen my mom so worried and relieved at the same time. According to my parents, they had entrusted my aunt and uncle to pick us up with my Houston-based cousins who were arriving at relatively the same time. With all the excitement and commotion of the party and relatives filtering in, we were missed. At this point, my immediate family had pulled out of the reunion/ birthday party and was staying at another hotel. How could this much drama happen overnight? Dave and I were feeling pretty guilty, but we couldn’t have stayed at the dark and empty airport!

Trying to keep my mom’s mind off the drama, we spent the day – the day of the party – with her shopping and running errands. Dave, my dad and brother got facials – the kind for acne and leaves you red-faced and sorry. Eek! It was really great to see my parents in their own element. I asked them if they felt like they were at ‘home’. They answered 50/50 because they have been so removed (since the early 80s) that they love both their home country and their current home in the States. I’ve lived in so many different places, what will I call home when I’m their age?

Me and Papa at His 84th Birthday & Family Reunion

In the last two years, my aunt lost her husband and my grandfather lost his wife. If a reunion was going to happen, it needed to happen sooner than later. By 5pm, my dad and I were worried we’d miss the big reunion. After all, a lot of time, money and concerted effort were put into play to make my Papa’s birthday a success. Cuddling with my mom, we persuaded her to go and forget the entire mess and just concentrate on what was important – giving my Papa the best birthday and family reunion ever.

The Main Event - Lechon

At the reunion, all was set aside and we enjoyed a feast including Lechon (a traditional Filipino roasted pig served at big occasions). There were over 100 people all connected to my grandfather. Predictably, there was karaoke, choreographed dances and games – my favourite being the newspaper game! There are pairs dancing around a newspaper. When the music stops, the pair has to fold it in half and fit their feet on it. The winning pair is the one with the smallest newspaper square and can still stand on it even if that means piggy back style!

2nd Place in the Newspaper Dance Game

The next day, we took off for Boracay, a 4 hour ride across the island plus a ferry ride. This trip took 6 hours because of a flat tire and a stop at a resto to see the Philippines most prized athlete – Manny Pacquaio defeat Antonio Margarito. This fight was like The Thrilla in Manila Muhammed Ali v Joe Frazier to the Filipino public and was advertised as the David and Goliath fight. It was amazing to see locals so enamoured by one man. He was like Michael Jordan meets Jesus – he is almost a religion in the Philippines. As the biblical story dictates, so did the Pacman defeat his Goliath.

Never Too Old to Cuddle my Baby Bro RJ

The Road from Iloilo to Caticlan (Boracay Port City)

Boracay is one of the best beaches in the world and a guaranteed good time including snorkeling, white sand beaches and cheap seafood and massages. For the next 3 days, I enjoyed getting to know my dad’s side of the family and forgetting all the drama that had happened the day before. Poor Dave though, he endured food poisoning – we’re suspecting Yellow Cab Pizza Company because my sister got it too! – and was out of commission till our last night. Our one goal for the Boracay trip was to get a market fresh seafood dinner that we had enjoyed last year. We bought 2 lobsters, 1kg prawns and 200g calamari and had it prepared by a nearby restaurant for less than $20 a person! If you ever go to the Philippines, you have to dip your seafood in a mixture of soy sauce and calamansi juice known to my family as 'Dip dip'. You’ll want to spoon it up!

Island Hopping Around Boracay

Enjoying My Favourite Filipino Icecream
Ube or Purple Taro or Yam

Seafood Buffet for Two

Lobster, Prawn, Calamari, Rice & Calamansi Soy Sauce 'Dip dip'

My Proud Grandma and Me at the New Restaurant Bangga Vaflor

On Wednesday, we took off for Iloilo again, but this time to catch a ferry to my mother’s home island of Negros to the city of Bacolod. This was a very special trip because my mom had spent the last year tearing down my grandmother’s dilapidated house and building a restaurant for my extended family to run and earn money. The most vivid memory of the house was when I was 3 years old living with my grandmother in her huge, dark and scary house while my mom worked in the States raising enough money to bring me and my sister over. The site before us was not that gloomy house, but a bright two-part building called Bangga Vaflor or Vaflor Street set up as a café for the neighboring college during the day and a fine-dining restaurant in the evening. For the next two days, we enjoyed huge crabs and bangus (milk fish) from my uncle’s fish pond and tasting menu for the restaurant. We held a second reunion, but this time with my grandmother’s side of the family.
 

The Biggest Crab I've Ever Eaten

Hiding Signs of Extreme Fatigue

Ariadne, Bea, Daddy, Me, Dave and RJ at Waterfall #3

On my last day in Bacolod, my family went to Mambukal Resort a hidden gem an hour away with 7 waterfalls. My dad, brother, Dave and cousins conquered the high terrain and beating heat to all 7 waterfalls. As much as I dislike hiking, it felt familiar and good to do something with my family that we haven’t done since I was living under their roof. It was like I was 10 and on vacation with my family with my dad leading the way making slacker jokes at us slowpokes bringing up the rear.

Enjoying a Well-Deserved Shiatsu Massage

That night, exhausted and yet to have a proper massage, I got my wish. The very same masseuse I had when I visited back in 2002 was still in contact with my aunt. He came over and went nuts. It was one of the Shiatsu massages that hurt and tickled at the same time for over an hour – all for 200 pesos or approx. $5!

The Great Manny 'Pacman' Pacquiao Singing to His Fans

On Dave and I’s last day, we decided to go to Manila early and do some last minute shopping at SM Mall of Asia. Only 15 minutes away from the airport, this was our best bet to get all the deals we were missing in Australia (the country with insanely overpriced retail goods). In the taxi, our cabbie told us Manny Pacquiao would be holding a concert at the mall! After a day of shopping, Cinnabon and more shopping, we walked out of the mall to the welcome of a fireworks display. And on the big screens, there was Pacquiao singing ‘Filipino, Filipino’. What a great way to end our trip!

The Vaflor Family

As hectic and dramatic the start of our vacation was, the rest of the vacation proved to be worth the tough start. I’m a big believer in balance and this trip exemplified how families can be both sides of angry, frustrated, and hurt and also loving, jokey and appreciative. This reunion doesn’t happen every year. In fact, this was the first I’ve participated in my 25 years. I hope we don’t go too long before another one happens. Thank you to all those involved in the planning, execution and follow up of this memorable event!