Beached Whale

'I'm beached az, bro.'

Beached Whale, Bro YouTube Video

This is the funniest phenomenon going around on YouTube right now. It's gotten so popular that the Australian Broadcasting Corporation (ABC) is creating an 11 part series about the animated whale and it's encounters with New Zealand creatures.

It's about an Australian whale that gets beached onto New Zealand. In obvious trouble, he tries to speak with overpronounced Kiwi colloqiualisms to get some help from a local New Zealand seagull.

When I first watched this, I didn't understand why it was so funny to Aussies. Apparently, you need to know and understand Kiwi slang and that Aussies constantly mock Kiwi lingo. It's a great introductory video for someone who doesn't know the difference between Aussie speak and Kiwi speak.

Here's the transcript:

WHALE:*gasp* ah, no. ah no. I'm beached bro, I'm beached is! Hey bro.
KIWI: aw Hey bro! ...What're you doin bro?
WHALE: Dude, I'm beached is!
KIWI: ...Oho, shit! You're beached is!
WHALE: Tell me something I don't know.
KIWI: ....Ooh, You're heaps beached iss!
WHALE: So beached! ....Beached is!
KIWI: ...D'ya wanna chip bro?
WHALE: As in a chop?
KIWI: Yeah, chip.
WHALE: A potato chop?
KIWI: This one, chip, a chip.
WHALE: I would bro, but I don't eat chips,
KIWI: Is that so?
WHALE: naaah, I only eat plankton.
KIWI: Plankton?
WHALE: Can't chew, bro?
KIWI: Try a chip, bro.
WHALE: Nah, I can't chew.
KIWI: Just try a chip, bro.
WHALE: You don't understand, I might look big, but I can't chew bro, I only eat plankton.
KIWI: That's very deceptive!
WHALE: I know, it's very misleading. Do you have any plankton?
KIWI: I might, I'll go and check over here.
WHALE: Do you happen to have a bucket or a hose, bro? I need to get wet ASAP?
KIWI: Are you pretty parched?
WHALE: I'm parched is. And I'm beached bro!
KIWI: You're beached is!
WHALE: I know...see if you can find some plankton.

Some things you need to know to appreciate this video:

• Kiwis say 'bro' after every sentence like Southern Californians say 'dude'
• Kiwis say 'is' after a verb (beached is 'az')
• Kiwis say 'az' when they mean 'is'
• Kiwis and Aussies say 'heaps' when referencing to 'a lot' of things
• Kiwis say 'chip', but sounds like 'chop'
• Kiwis make statements that sound like questions (?)